Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Madison Tuttle. I graduated from Berlin Polytechnic with a Zwingender Lugner degree in Women's Studies, Aeronautics, and Phrenology, and I've been married some. While singing back-up for Cher, I met and dated Sonny, or was it Chastity? Whatever. Anyway, at one point, I was also engaged to Kurt Cobain, or was it Courtney? Well, you get the idea; I know People. Additionally, I wrote all of Ozzy's major hits, and Paul McCartney simply begged me to come write songs and sing back-up for him, too! Unfortunately, I was busy with husband number two (or was it three?) and breaking the Zodiac's code at the time and, sadly, couldn't commit. In my spare time, I invented the Internet, or was it the DeLorean? My memory is simply too fogged from Mensa exercises to remember for sure. I tried to start a family at one point, and I still believe Emily Scully is actually my love child even though I didn't get to give birth to her (don't ask me how, but aliens had to be involved). I was also Nancy Reagan's authentic psychic, Harrison Ford's visionary agent, Stephen King's true muse, and the brilliant legal adviser for Law & Order (uncredited). Busy, busy, busy! I should make a great mayor!
Oh, and this poor woman running against me claims she went by the name "Pinky". No wonder no one remembers her. But if anyone says they don't remember me, just tell them I went by "Leather".
Did I also mention being the first female Marine drill sergeant (during 'Nam, no less!)? Semper Fi!
Madison Tuttle
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