Okay, I'm so dumb that I really want the government to take care of me. I want a chastity belt to keep me from having sex and getting diseases. I want a mandatory church attendance required for Sundays. I want all fast food restaurants to offer salads and yogurt since I'm too dumb to know what I like to eat and when. I want all alcohol to actually be non-alcoholic so I can't endanger myself or my health. I want all bars, pool halls, restaurants, casinos, and pubs to be smoke free so I can't decide for myself whether I want to be there or not.
Yes, I want the government to decide for me, an adult, what I can or can't be around, do, eat, smoke, sleep with, or associate with, period.
Please, Big Government, Please Please Please help me manage my life, since I shouldn't. I only live in the freest country ever created, but I still need politicians, activists, lobbyists, and freakazoids who have never met me to tell me how, where, when, and why to live my life.
See you at the mandatory church session over salt-free, alcohol-free, meat-free, fat-free, dance-free, music-free, fun-free entertainment.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
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